her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
