my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
