Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
