her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
