woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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