Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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