I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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