cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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