i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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