I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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