so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
