I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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