Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
