Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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