Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
