hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
