moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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