What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
