so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
