waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
