Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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