I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
