Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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