porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
