Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
