is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize