Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
