id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
