I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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