Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize