TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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