just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
