So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize