Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
