Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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