craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
