You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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