I skipped work to stalk him.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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