If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
