I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
