the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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