apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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