just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
