Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
