i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
