you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
