I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
