On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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