Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize