I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
