Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ASSnTDs hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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(716): View more from New York

There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair

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(407): View more from Florida

I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

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(206): View more from Washington

AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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(817): View more from Texas

It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

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(989): View more from Michigan

I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.

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