This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
