Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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