This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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