what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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