Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
