i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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