I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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