So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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