there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think my vagina is haunted
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
