2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
