He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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