i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
