Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
