I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
