i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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