Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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