I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
